A friendship is an amazing phenomenon. Each one can be described differently and each definition would be true: it’s a special feeling of trust in another person; it’s a sincerity and readiness to help; despite business partnership, a true friendship is based on unselfish sympathy of people to one another.
As children, we develop our sense of friendship through cartoons, movies, books and songs. We are taught by our parents and school teachers that we must be friendly to other folks.
When you follow these guidelines – be friendly, take care, etc. – it makes going through life a little easier. Friendship can be that saving island, where your wounds can heal and friends can get you through the tough times. When your friend is in trouble, you can help him/her and, when you are in trouble, they will, in turn, help you.
It can be such a beautiful thing to become friends as toddlers and stay friends throughout their whole lives. However, the question needs to be asked: Does every friendship last forever? The answer is No!
There may come a time in your life when the bonds you have with friends become broken. And, when this happens, it’s time to move on.
This is especially so if you make big changes in your life such as getting a social life. It is simply impossible to become more sociable person, improve your social skills and get a social life without inspection and revision of some of your interpersonal interactions.
Be sure you take some time to think about the relationship you have with the people in your life right now. Of course, you never want to have an abusive relationship. The person you may have to leave could be your best friend – someone who has never hurt you or takes good care of you but hinders you from attaining a social life because of how complacent you have become with them. You never take action to get a social life because of your current complacency.
Here’s what you need to understand: feeling complacent about your social life could hold you back from making any kind of attempt in getting out and getting a more active social life. Good intentions can do harm too. If you hang out with just one friend or a small group of friends, it narrows your view and withers your social skills… even if your friends are great folks!
Here are some questions to help you understand if this kind of relationship is taking place in your life:
1 – Are they people in your life close to you who demand so much of your attention that you have no time or emotional resources to seek for or take part in other social interactions? Does hanging out with some of your friends keep you from hanging out with other folks and give you an abundant social life?
2 – Does staying friends with someone make you abandon the other important things in your life?
3 – Do you sacrifice your time, energy and emotions to stay friends with someone? Has your limit been reached?
4 – Do you have a friend who is committed to taking care of you that you cannot make a move in your life without them giving you their approval?
5 – Do you have a friend who perceives you, not like an equal, but a person they look down upon? Do they decide what is right and wrong for you even if they do not have the experience?
If this reminds you of any person in your life, it’s time to consider breaking up. And, during this time apart, consider how much better you feel without them being around. Is your social life more active?
It’s true that friends are hard to find. And, it’s even harder to leave a friend. It’s possible, that given some time apart, you want to reconnect with them. This is especially true if you have had a difficult time interacting with other socially. It’s okay to get caught up with old friends; just approach it with an open mind. Do you really enjoy the friendship or are you just settling for the friendship because there is nothing else out there at the moment?
People tend to stay friends – even when it doesn’t serve them well. Society may view you as a reliable friend but your social-conditioned behavior may not be right. You may think it’s cruel or immoral; but, sometimes, saying goodbye to a friend is beneficial to both of you.
I’m not saying that the above scenario is going to happen to you. Just keep in mind that it’s quite likely to happen and it’s best for you to be prepared. And, if, after reading this article, you find that a friendship is no longer best for you, don’t fret! Just remember the good times you had and part your way. You live your life and they live theirs. If your paths should cross again, then so be it!
January 30th, 2013